Just let me fall to be of use, make me the rainstorm, just a piece of hail, you know.

Wintry dreams and wonders. Something about winter always makes me feel at home. Maybe that's what happens when you spend your defining years in the arctic tundra of Northern Michigan. But the familiar feeling of snowy ground and rosy cheeks feels like home, safety and that everything is going to be fine and there are no worries. At least in its first moments winter and its weather tends to bring me comfort. Perhaps in two months when I'm done with walking around in snow I won't feel the same way, but for now I can feel the difference in my mood having to do with snow, coolness, long underwear and a newly found musician who's fitting my wintry bliss just right.

Two entries in one week suffice to say is a product of this happiness. I feel as if these past few weeks have been spent in a haze; one induced by the boredom of my work. My mom called me out on it last time I talked to her on skype, commenting that i just seemed bored. Which is true. I'm itching for winter break to come and to give me some refreshment in that department. But in all honesty today I played battleship with my sixth form and couldn't have been happier. It was good number and letter practice and I just really felt nice to take a break from putting on the show. My second form we actually did some learning. This isn't my favourite group from last year, in fact, its the group where I regularly have to break up fights. But it is home to two students who I worked with this summer at camp who adore me. And between one wanting to stand with me at the front of the room while I teach so he can hold my hand and the other one coming up to me when I was working with another student just to give me a hug my little christmas filled heart grew three times its size.

I talked to Kyle this morning; talked being metaphorical for facebook chat. I could go into the millions of ways and reasons why this conversation set the mood for a day without any problems, but suffice to say Kyle brings humanity into my life and reconnects me to my own life; and I'm grateful for a small moment where we could commune over my morning tea making me feel like my life in America wasn't too far away from me.

I started teaching the militia, by started teaching I mean I showed up for my meeting which was in all honesty a comedy of errors from beginning to end. There are a couple of things I can check off my life list: sitting in a police office with 3 men while they question me about my background (albeit in a non-threatening and more flirtatious manner). Having Ukrainian Militia men ask me to translate two things, "Hello" and "hammer." After being up-ed and down-ed by the first office I had a Seargeant of the Lviv regional police compliment my eyes and then up and down me ask me if I wanted to drink cognac and later in his office before he told me about his dead wife started singing a song about my beautiful "Kari Ochi" otherwise known as hazel eyes, which I don't have, he insisted I did because my name is Kari. Finally, he told me if ever i was in a bar and drunk men wanted "bad things" I should call him and he would take care of it. Thanks Sir! So, now, if wanted I have protective Ukrainian Militia detail and a lot of men who think I'm "their american" brought especially to teach them English and brighten their day with my coy blushing and giggling ways. So many life goals accomplished and only an hour and a half spent in the office.

so there it is a second entry for the week. i hope you're all feeling the warmth I'm enjoying right now in the soul sense rather than the temperature sense.

loveandhugstoall

I heard that your dreams came true. I guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Winter has arrived in the lacy snow that's covering my backyard and trees. It's funny to think of a playground school yard as your backyard, but I suppose that's what it is. The holiday season has begun with Thanksgiving already through the door and the anticipation of Christmas time activities already filling my head and keeping the time from passing quickly. I can feel the settling in; the familiar feeling of winter here. I feel my body saying, "put on the long underwear. You know what you're in for." The temperatures are dropping though they're nowhere near what they reached last winter my heater is already plugged in and starting to swirl the warm air around my room. Though it mostly feels like it's swirling warm air within a one foot radius. And so, the season of 3 pairs of long underwear has come again to Ukraine. There's a little solace in knowing this time next year I may just be in a decently heated living space. I'm excited for winter (at least the first part of it). Mostly, just the holiday season. But I'm happy to feel something familiar. This whole last year, everything felt so new, all these things at school or in Lviv that I hadn't experienced yet. And eventhough feeling like everything is new or different can be fun, it actually feels nice to know what to expect in some ways. I'm looking forward to school Christmas pageants and performances to watch. And small parties with other volunteers. It seems most are headed home for the holidays and while I get it the going home that is, I feel more comfortable with staying and not rocking the boat.

Thanksgiving was good. Lots of food, lots of people and a feeling of community that a lot of times I find myself missing. I think that volunteers really try to create a sense of home for one another which I really appreciate. I think that maybe it's the feeling of being completely isolated in a lot of ways (despite technology) that makes us cling to one another for care and compassion. Of course, there were typical holiday dramas that played into the day, but overall, the day gave me a sense of being a part of something that was a pretty decent substitution for the love of my family.

I accidentally bought beef tongue at the store the other day instead of stew meat. I really need to start reading labels instead of just blindly picking things up. It's not that I can't read or that I don't understand words, it's just a lot of work to pick up a package and read it and figure out what it says. It adds a lot of time to shopping. I used to put in a lot of effort, mostly because packaging here never felt real. Like I would find something I would expect to be one thing because of how it was packaged and it turned out it was something completely different. So, when I first arrived I studied and studied what the package actually said. Nowadays, I just sort of stick to what I know, trust my eyes or in this case eat the fact that I bought beef tongue instead of stew meat and start brainstorming or internet searching for recipes that include beef tongue and let me know how to cook it. I'm not grossed out by eating beef tongue and I'm sure there are some volunteers that would just pitch it and call it a loss in the living allowance column, but I just feel bad tossing perfectly good meat even if it is something I wouldn't normally pick out. The package recommends I use it for stroganoff. I hate stroganoff. My brother suggested Vietnamese dishes (good luck finding veggies or materails to make that in winter in ukraine, does the recipe happen to have beets?) So, I'm thinking I'm going to make a soup which means another trip to the store to get beef bouillon but who knows what kind of soup this is going to be. I'm thinking some sort of beef and tomato combination.

So, what's going on in the work department. I know that the world of TEFL is thrilling in everyway for all of you. I'm teaching, as per usual, my normal classes in the school though the schedule has changed. . . again. . . and probably will, again; as soon as the new semester starts, that is. Other than teaching at school I'm also teaching a private student named Pasia, who I wrote about in my last entry. She's really great and I'm thankful to have met her and gotten to know her. AND I'm now teaching the Lvivska Regional Police, I know, you're jealous. The president has issued an order that Police in the cities where the Euro Cup 2012 will be held to learn English to help along with tourists etc. who come to Ukraine to watch the games. That means I get to teach the exciting material of, "Can I see your documents please?" I'm secretly hoping to teach things like, "Hey, hooligans, quiet down before I beat you with my billy club." Probably, not encouraging the best of behaviour, but at least it would be more interesting to draw the visuals. l'll keep you all updated on what it's like to work with the Police as much as possible. My guess is that my nervousness before teaching them that I'm currently experiencing is probably unwarranted, but for some reason, I tend to fear the police here. Probably becuase no one wants to go to jail, especially not in a country that isn't their own where their language consists mostly of threats for students, like, "If you don't start behaving I will call your mother." I'm guessing it's not the best option as to how to begin a conversation with an angry Militia man but it's yet to be tested.

The countdown has begun until the end of the first semester, marking my second full semester here in Ukraine and the beginning of my last full semester here! I'm not exactly sure why I'm so excited about that fact other than things move TOO fast here. I enjoy all the small moments of socializing and teaching and all that goes with being a volunteer, but when I think about my time, it still seems like I've only just arrived. Nevermind the fact that due to constant staffing changes at my school I'm the second most tenured English teacher in the department. And now, as of this month, we're the oldest TEFL group around. The group that arrived before us already received the email about their close of service retreat and the paperwork will probably soon follow. Mine will be at the end of the summer from what I've heard. Well, on the reflection of how stunningly close and painstakingly far the end is I suppose I'll call this one at an end. Happy Advent season to all.

loveandhugstoall

it makes such an almighty sound

So, the first post in awhile. October finished out with the great gift of one week free of responsibility of teaching. I headed to Poland with Linnea and met Ama there. You can check out the pictures on facebook if you haven't already. There are a few great things about the trip: one, it was my first trip outside of Ukraine since arriving (otherwise known as in over a year) two, it gave me a much needed break from the day to day challenges of being a teacher in a culture you don't always understand and three: I got to see Ama; a friend from America who knew me before Peace Corps. Peace Corps has changed me in innumerable ways. I look different, I feel different, I speak differently. There's nothing wrong with any of these changes, but it was nice to tap in to who I was before I came here and feel comfortable being around an old friend. More than anything Ama makes me laugh and makes me feel a sense of stability. Krakow itself was amazing. I think that most people when they picture Poland actually end up picturing something a little closer to what Ukraine is like, but in all honesty Krakow is cleaner than Paris and is super accommodating in terms of English speakers etc. We got to see the city and have ethnic foods and go to bars which specialized in serving something other than borscht and vodka. An all together win I would say. I will say the trip included some interesting travel moments; but the best was being able to say I've crossed a country's border on foot. Now, if only I could travel across by bike I think I'd have most travel modes crossed off.

After Poland, I headed to Uzhgorod, my first time visiting the bigger city in Zakarpatska oblast. I had so much fun and I have to say that I"m glad that I didn't take an all day train to head to Kharkiv for the party out east. Matt, Scott and I dressed as Snap, Crackle and Pop and those pictures of course will be on facebook soon. I forget sometimes what peace corps gatherings are like given that I spend most of my time with Matt and Scott drinking at the same bar in Lviv. But it's nice every now and again to get a good taste of everyone else's peace corps existence.

Now, I'm back to teaching and looking to the future. Everyone can officially start the 12 month countdown because that's how long I have left in my service. It's amazing to think I've been here 14 months; time is funny in that way I suppose. My work here changes day to day; I mean I'm always teaching but I find I do a lot more supporting of my younger students and a lot more giving perspective to my older students. I don't know what to say about the development in Ukraine. In a lot of ways, it's moving so quickly and I'm in awe of what they're accomplishing on the outside. New buildings are always being put up and redone and in terms of looks the city is really changing and I can see the changes even from only the 11 months I've been at my site. But, I wonder sometimes if the Ukrainian mindset will change at the same rate; I know the answer is in theory no. . . I really don't know. Sometimes I see such huge changes in mindsets, with my kids, with other Ukrainians. There's one person in particular here who I really admire in terms of breaking outside the bubble and thinking differently. It's a girl I'm tutoring who is around 20, her name is Pasia. She's an artist and the way she thinks about things completely turns my pre-conceived notions about the Ukrainian mindset into peril. I'm always glad to talk to her and interact with her. She's one of the only people I've met who actively engages with people from other cultures and wants to learn.

So what will November bring; a little thanksgiving celebration and the booking of our Egypt trip. Soon enough it will be December and christmas will be upon us. I'm looking forward to the holiday season, especially knowing it's the last one away from my family.

love and hugs to all

maybe all my years of travelling have quenched what I've thirsted

Here's to a crisp autumn. The weather is cold and after a hard week of homesickness I'm feeling myself on the mend. Homesickness isn't something I've ever really dealt with, but it came in full force this week. I suppose it's only natural. But I'm glad that it's passed and I can move on to other more exciting things. This post is probably more about promise than anything else, promise and plans for the future.

My grant is officially written. I closed myself in my house today finishing the grant and working on some other projects I've been putting off during my down and out feelings. I feel like I'm getting back on track and that it'll be soon enough where the project will be on its feet. Then, oh then, this week I got a lot of information about the future. This Wednesday I'm heading to Nosivka, my host village, to visit my host family and act as the adopt-a-cluster person. Can't wait to meet the new trainees and hopefully my presentation will go alright. I'm going to be doing a presentation on young learners and I hope my plans will be ok. Americans can be a bit more touchy and judgemental than Ukrainians and so I hope they're not expecting fireworks. At the very least I hope that my excitement can make up for that. I'm also giving some information on rubrics. Thanks to help from Joe who sent me some of his and then I am going to give information on how I grade my little kids. After that I'll be back home and then in two weeks I'm headed to Poland with Linnea and meeting up with Ama. I really cannot wait! I get home and head down to Uzhgorod for Halloween!!! Still have some costume stuff to do ! But that can wait til next week. And then warden training! Ah life is crazy.

We finally got the plans and price quotes for Egypt so that's definitely a go for new years! Seven days in the warmth of teh desert I'll take it!

feeling good and I figure after last week I should post when feeling good and happy. These posts are more important than the others anyway! There's still a lot on my plate, but I'm feeling more happy about getting things finished and I'm starting to feel like I can do it. I'm looking forward to possibilities.

loveandhugs

put your body next to mine and dream on

Sometimes I think that being busier is better. I think a lot about the amount of times in the states I was working two jobs in order to keep myself busy because I thought I needed to. Being in Peace Corps has oddly enough changed a lot of that. Granted I do work; 18 hours a week in school and I have something planned for about an hour or so a day after school. And on weekends, there's lots of meetings and travel normally. What really scares me is that I've become accustomed to waking up at 8am and taking my time to get ready for work. I enjoy an amount of free time (even when i have events) that isn't really possible in the states. I hope that when I go back to America, I'll still be able to read and to experience. . . but sometimes I worry.

School is going along at a lightning pace and I can't believe it's already October and fall break is rapidly approaching and I'll be heading to Poland. In all honesty, the trip to Poland is keeping me sane at this point. I've been having harder hits of homesickness; though I don't know why. In talking to Joe, he mentioned that everyone of my cluster mates that I am close with have had a chance to see their parents making being away from home easier to deal with. While I'm the only one who has gone cold turkey from my parents for a year. Worse, not exactly knowing how much longer I'm going to have to go without them. Homesickness is tough and it's taken me a really long time to be affected by it. I'm hoping that it will ebb and flow and that it won't always be so ever present in my daily life. I think that as things move along my mind will drift to other things and other plans.

I haven't been getting much reading done, instead I've found myself doing a lot of lesson planning and a lot of phone conversation. I'm hoping to get back to that too. Perhaps, this will just be a blog entry of hopes, the hopes that I want to happen before Poland maybe or just in general.

Well, everything else is going fine. My place is really cold. really cold and I'm trying not to think about what winter is going to be like. I forgot how cold my place really gets. I'm trying to avoid plugging in my space heater until November. But I might have to make it a temperature decision rather than a month decision.

that's all for now. perhaps a more substantial post in the weeks to come after some big events.
hugsandlove

I'm not an open book that you can rifle through

A quick post to say:

It's been one year! Officially my one year anniversary here in Ukraine.
It feels surreal it feels weird, but all in all Peace corps was a good and definitely the right decision for me.

I spent the day teaching followed by heading to dinner with a teacher from school and her daughter. It was nice, simple and a great way to low key celebrate without anyone really knowing.

God willin' an the creek don't rise, I'll be home again before this time next year. Though I fear this fever won't break...

I feel like I'm hitting my stride here. I should probably check the peace corps health material and see if it says that this is where I should be in terms of my mental state. A lot of volunteers always tell me that the Peace Corps mental health pattern really closely follows there own; so I suppose it may be worth checking out to see if it's a product of my evolution here naturally or if I like most follow the grain. I wouldn't be surprised if it really is just following the grain.

Teaching seems more manageable, freer and not so much like work. The kids, especially the younger kids, are having ridiculous amounts of fun in the classroom. I'm so excited to be able to play games with them. The best part is that I get to reinforce what they're already learning in class. As we move along in the year, they will progress to more difficult units, BUT for now I'm working with them on remembering basic vocabulary, letter identification, number identification and pronunciation. Mostly with the younger kids. My middle ages are working on team games. Giving each other directions or whatever I know their weak points are from last year. The older kids have really varied English skills. But I'm having a good time, getting them to speak and experimenting with different class formats that I haven't been able to experiment with up until this point.

Socially, life is going really well. I, of course, spend most of my time with other volunteers and I have to say that my network while it grows remains pretty tight knit and helps me keep my sanity. One of my new friends, Blythe, arrived in Lviv in June and I've really enjoyed Blythe coming to site. I have someone to cook with during the week and just kind of debrief. She is a big source of calm in my life right now and she's really adventurous and excited to learn about new things so she makes a great companion at site. Beyond that, I'm REALLY looking forward to traveling to Poland at the end of October with Linnea and meeting up with Ama from Lac du Bois. I think it'll be great to relax and explore with them and enjoy some time outside of Ukraine. The newest group of trainees has arrived, so have my two advisees who I'm really looking forward to meeting. November and December bring more work and the holiday season which I'm looking forward to celebrating with everyone here. AND THEN, of course, heading to Egypt with people! SO wonderful

Extra-Curricular work stuff, I'm working on my grant still and am hopefully going to be finishing up by the end of the month and have it submitted in october so stay tuned for information on how to help fund my schools' project ! Beyond that, I'm the new facilitator for The Collaborative in our oblast, which is a group that tries to share information among PCVs about all sorts of things. I'm really excited to be involved in the planning and I'm hoping to get more involved of course. I have some ideas I think would be helpful. We'll see! I'm still acting as the safety warden for my region, which really isn't too much work, just knowing where people are. And I should have another training soon! I will be headed to my training site (hopefully) in early November to be an adopt-a-cluster person. Which means I will be visiting a training group and acting as a kind of visitor to let them know what service is like and to give them someone to listen to if they ever want to contact anyone should problems arise. I'm working on a safety manual with another peace corps volunteer for women and I'm hoping that will be finished up by December! AND I'm going to help another volunteer work at his field day event for kids with special needs!

Other stuff wise, I'm still reading a lot and have been doing tons of crocheting. AND Blythe and I have had the opportunity to can and preserve stuff from teh bazaar and make lots of tasty dinners. I'm loving the fall produce and atmosphere at the bazaar which brings a sense of fun to my life. I've been hooked up with two girls studying at university who want to meet up with me and take walks and speak English. One is the daughter of a teacher here at school and the other is a friend of a friend of a friend. I'm excited to have the opportunity to spend time with Ukrainians. And it'll be great to have something to do some evenings. Although in all honesty my schedule is a touch crazy and I could use the downtime in some ways.

I've started the grad school search in earnest and have some top schools and a premium contender as well. Now it's a matter of putting together a schedule for some other stuff.

My new goals for the new schedule include getting ready for the GRE, improving my language, more/continued healthy lifestyle goals, new responsibilities for collaborative and just trying to challenge myself while still remaining sane.

I suppose this was a kind of information dump. BUT currently, I would say I'm in the best place emotionally, physically, socially, professionally etc. that I've been in Ukraine and I just like to think about why. I'm celebrating my one year anniversary in Ukraine in a mere 7 days. And with just 14 months remaining in my service it's hard to believe everything going on in life right now. I feel really lucky and really peaceful.

missyouloveyou

This is just a quiet tune to bring a light into your room When I'm not right in front of you to hold you in my arms

So, it's September and my one year of being in Ukraine is fastly approaching. In some ways, I can hardly believe that I have been here a year. I feel as if I have only just arrived in Lviv. I feel comfortable and known and my school as if I have the ties that are necessary for valuable work. At the same time, everything still feels fresh. Perhaps it's because it's all repeated action from the things I was doing last semester. Being in a situation when things are repeated should make things feel old and not new, but maybe this is having the opposite effect.

At the same time, today whether because of illness or the chill in my apartment I felt homesick. It happens time and again passing in waves that is a blur between homesickness and just a want for something familiar; something, I experienced before Ukraine. Most days, it's linked to talking with someone from home or feeling that you're missing out on something. It wasn't necessarily like that today. It came to me even earlier than usual when I was first waking. Again, it could've just been wanting someone to take care of me when I'm sick, but I felt the need to be cuddled in blankets in home and not here listening to music and reading books under the familiar glow of the aged yellow lights of the brass lamps of the living room in Naperville.

The winds are colder and with them the promise of winter and a busy schedule taking me sailing. I've felt the newness of working with the older kids this year, and their excitement and ability to speak makes me feel a bit less like I'm teaching and more like I"m sharing. The small kids are still making sure I feel welcomed giving me hugs and small gifts of the in season walnuts they bring to class from their back yards. Nothing like cracking the shell open of the walnuts against the teachers desk to give to your 6 year old students who wouldn't otherwise to be able to open them themselves and in return you're given a grateful and completely honest hug. Kids hug better than adults not doing it out of practice but of sheer joy and happiness to see you. Being mobbed by my students with hugs is one of teh best parts of the day. It's the middle grades I don't know what to do with, the ones that want to take your picture but don't want to be engaged in a conversation with you. Ones that are too cool to hug you and too self conscious to really make an effort. And still there's that bubbling sense of interest in them; that they want to learn but are afraid that they will be exposed as something less than everyone else thinks they should be. Maybe not less but something different.

Getting a feel for this many ages has proven to be difficult. I've worked with all the ages in depth before, but as with all things the cultural differences seems to block any knowledge of how the kids operate. It's funny there are certain things that are so different from American kids. My 2nd graders prefer me to show them a model of drawing on the board or draw for them rather than do it themselves in their own way. When I ask them to draw their mothers most will say, "I can't do it." My response is always, "yes, you can. Just try" They are never too pleased with this. I think of all the times when I've been with young children in the States who relish the chance to draw in their own way, whatever they like. I may have a lot of problems with education in the States, but we do develop a sense of trying and creativity these kids haven't developed. I just want the kids to take risks, to step outside the box, unafraid of the consequences just to say that they tried, but some days I'm afraid they're all captive to the image they're supposed to be upholding. How do you teach someone to take risks, to try something just for the sake of seeing if it will work out, to experiment. How do you get rid of the fear of failure? Something to think about for the next year and a half of my service. Maybe that should be a secondary goal, get my kids to experiment with different ways of doing things other than following the formulas that I think are being shoved down their throats.

Still, the autumn air makes me simultaneously homesick and completely happy.

The winds will blow their own freshness into you,
and the storms their energy,
while cares will drop away from you
like the leaves of Autumn.

meet me at the wrecking ball

Highlights to the end of summer and the school year beginning :

My visit to my host family and the beginning of my scheduled life in school has made me feel grounded and more functional than I was most of summer.

Autumn is coming and I feel the need to cuddle up with all the comforts of home and acoustic soft music.

I missed my students a lot and working with them makes me REALLY happy. Some days I can be frustrated with their lack of listening; but I really couldn't ask for more kind hearted students.

I did a deep clean of my room. This makes me really happy. I'm even currently displaying the shame of the book stack I have. But I do have a pile of about 4 or so books ready to pass on.

I'm finally getting the time to preserve stuff now that I have a partner in canning. Blythe and I have already done apple butter and salsa and we've got plans for this coming Wednesday after a visit to the bazaar. This makes me really happy!

The weather has gotten cooler making it perfect sweater wearing weather aka my favourite season.

I'm feeling a new sense of opportunity with the new school year and this makes me really happy!

I miss my family and friends in increasing amounts; but with my one year in country mark so quickly approaching, I can hardly believe how fast time is going

I updated my wishlist to the right!

loveandhugstoall

take a breath just to let it out again

So my mom has been asking me for weeks to post up a summer summary so here it is:

End of May: I finished school and enjoyed my first last bell ceremony. I was interviewed by a local news station, which in all honesty I thought was a video being made by our school to commemorate the end of the school year. Then later in the evening, I received texts from a Ukrainian saying that I had been on tv. ugh, well, at least no one other than the people who already know me in town would recognize me, one of the many benefits of being in a large city. After school ended, my friend Aida from Lac du Bois came to visit. She had been studying in Morocco for the semester and was touring around Europe before she headed back to the states. It was great to be able to travel and experience Ukraine with her. The country takes on a whole new vibe when you're able to travel with someone from the states who isn't here on Peace Corps Service. We traveled to some small towns around Lviv and, of course, spent some time in Lviv itself. After that, we headed to visit The Kyivska Oblast volunteer, Meaghan Joyce. We spent time in her town of Kovalivka which is nicknamed DreamLand. The local politician has rebuilt everything, this small village has some of the nicest roads I have seen in the last 10 months. Paved, no divits, it's pretty amazing. We got to dress like babas and go into the church and Meaghan was a great hostess ! We headed to Kyiv the next day to meet up with Linnea and see the city one day before we all parted ways. We walked all around the city, partly in thanks to my bad reading of metro stops. BUT we finally saw a good portion of teh city and the Chernobyl museum. At the Chernobyl museum, was a group of students from West Point, apparently learning about post-soviet Ukraine. After that, Linnea and I went on the pub crawl with the hostel and had a great time. The next day we split up, Linnea and Aida heading to the airport and I took a nite bus to Novodnistrovsk, the site of my cluster mate Joe.

JUNE: So, that brings us to June. Thanks to the pub crawl the nite before I really hadn't slept. SO, I took a nite bus to Joe's site and got there at about 5 in the morning. Joe, who had taken that same bus before had been waiting for me at the bus stop for an hour and a half because his bus had gotten in earlier. I slept off the rest of the travel while Joe helped proctor exams and then Joe took me on a tour of his wonderful town. I even got to take the nice hike down to the Soviet hydroelectric power station! BONUS! See pictures on facebook for the awesomeness that is said power station. Joe made a traditional Ukrainian dinner of Holobtsi, stuffed cabbage rolls. The next day, Joe gave me the grand tour of town, and we also got to hang out at his counterpart's house and had ice cream. Joe's town was super cute. Then, Joe and I headed to Chernivtsi with some of his students to take part in an English language drama camp. We met up with the students and took buses to a town in the Carpathian mountains called Vizhnytsia. There were about 40 students, I think, at the camp and Joe and I were there to help with English language, as teh students were writing their scripts in English. THe camp was great we were in the mountains and near the river. Joe and I really didn't have too much to do while we were there so we got to enjoy the free time of relaxing in the mountains, not a bad deal. One day, the whole camp took a hike up a mountain and had a cook out lunch. The weather was hot, but I had so much fun hiking up and picnicing with everyone there. Joe and I led some games and the whole week I played frisbee and catch with a lot of the kids. This was hysterical mostly because the kids thought that because I could catch a frisbee with one hand that I was an athlete, this however is probably teh furthest thing from the truth. Nevertheless, the kids were great, the plays were great and I had a pretty awesome time. I got home from the trip to camp and immediately started working again at my own site. The month of June basically consisted of me working two hours of playground duty per day and then starting my adult English classes. My adult English classes have been great, they allow me to work with students who want to learn english with no discipline problems etc. Plus the adults in my group are really funny and motivated. It's been a treat and has encouraged me to continue teaching for the year, something I was pretty down on at the end of the school year. Doing playground duty was generally hysterical. The camp was only for 1st through 3rd graders so I was working with all the tiny kids. I will say there is nothing better than walking into a room filled with tiny 1st graders and getting mobbed in hugs because they are happy to see you. The students at the school are so loving and just want to be told they're doing a good job. Somedays, I could've done without the playground duty, but seeing my favourite student a first grader or I guess soon to be second grader named Roma never gets old!

JULY: So after June passed with camp and work, July did the same. Joe came to visit the first week of July in tandem with the Fourth of July barbecue I held to welcome the new volunteers to the oblast. We have one new volunteer in the city of Lviv named Blythe who I think is wonderful! And two others in teh oblast who I've met and are also great! The barbecue was a lot of fun and I got to meet tons of new people, cook and enjoy the wonders of American independence. My security guard told me that all of America had come to my party, I told him while 30 is a lot of people, there were a few more Americans back at home still celebrating. After the barbecue, a group of us all left for Ukrainian language Refresher. I spent a week practicing Ukrainian, enjoying being with my friends and generally loving a week off of school. I came back to Lviv and started working again. But this time, only adult English classes. Since then, I've said goodbye to my friend Linda who finished her peace corps service and headed back to Seattle. I was really sorry to see her go eventhough I know she's happy to be back. Linda was a source of sanity for me and having her leave feels like my service will change somehow. I've also enjoyed some down time at my site just being able to read and do what I would like. I got pretty sick after language refresher and was out of commission for about a week. But now i'm back to healthy status and feeling ready for my upcoming month of freedom ! August will be open for me, no commitments and so I'm going to see my host family in mid-August. It's been a long time, but I'll be really happy to spend a weekend with them.

I suppose that's all. I miss home always and am starting to think about what life's going to be like when I get back. It's not that I countdown the days til my service is over, but with new groups coming and old groups leaving about every 3/6 months it seems like life is always changing and people are moving quickly on. Our next group arrives in country at the end of September and then the next group will be leaving in November/December; and of course the new group will be coming to site in December. It's hard to think that everything is moving so fast, but I suppose that's how time goes the older you get.

love and hugs to all!

there's something lost and something gained in living every day

The past month has whirled by through a series of visits (mostly), trips(one maybe two) and experiences that it's hard to remember what has happened. I always find when I get truly busy I have a hard time sitting down to write a journal, and thus, I normally don't write until so much has passed I feel like I can't catch up with everything that has gone by so quickly.

Let's start with what has happened since April in the event category. I travelled down to Drohobych where my friend Linnea lives to work a day camp for kids of like middle school to high school age. The day went well and it was my first experience in country working with any kids older than 7th grade which I enjoyed. Plus, there were a lot of volunteers from my group who showed up to work so I felt like we had done our part to add to an oblast friendly attitude. We played games and did learning activities and I felt like it was a good use of time. I enjoyed being with the kids and being able to recapture a part of myself I only really let out in the camp atmosphere. I think it's probably that I'm used to running around like an idiot whenever I'm at Lac du Bois so it makes it helpful here. Another volunteer who had brought her students had commented that her students said, "Kari has duracel batteries in her." Which I found amusing. I also got to see the fruits of my friend Matt's labours as he has taught one of his students to say "Suns out Guns out!"

After this, the visits began, on Thursday Meaghan another volunteer from Kyivska Oblast arrived. we had a blast being able to hang out before all teh rest of the people got there. The thing I like about having people visit is it gives me an excuse to play tourist in my own town. In all honesty, I don't get around Lviv that much. I stay at work most days and do a little walk around my neighborhood everyday but other than that I don't go into center but on the weekends. So I got to take lots of pictures and do some SHAMELESS people watching, which was in all honesty at a prime. The others all arrived into Lviv on Saturday, it was Meaghan Trout's bday and we took advantage of the long weekend for labour day to relax and spend time with one another. I had a great time with everyone. Though somedays I doubt my prowess as a hostess. It's hard for me to know what people may like to see in town. There are lots of churches, etc. But as far as anything other than just walking around the city I'm generally at a loss. The weekend was great, plus it was the "rascal" festival and so there were tents and concerts etc. all weekend!

After everyone had left from Lviv, my host sister and her French guyfriend came to visit Lviv. Things that make my head go crazy, trying to speak French, English and Ukrainian in one nite. it was as always great to see my host sister and meet her friend. The weekend after another group of about ten people came to Lviv for city day celebrations. The weekend was again crazy and organizing and trying to make everything work was tough. But we had a successful dinner party at my place and I enjoyed the weekend despite the rain.

This past weekend I went to a town about 3 hours North of me to celebrate the birthdays of some fellow PCVs and had a great time meeting more new people and catching up with people who I had seen in awhile.

Now let's see on the work front. Things are good and busy and good and busy. I'm working a lot writing tests, etc. for the end of the year. And I feel like I"m doing ok. I've become so tired that sometimes I feel like I"m somewhat impatient with the kids, but I"m trying my best to remain calm and have it work out ok for the end of the year. My first graders have taken to mob hugging me, which is cute and funny and generally funny. I like seeing all the kids in the hallway and saying hello and passing out stickers. I'm working with my director in English which has been nice. And she's offered me to take tennis with her tennis instructor. I've had about 5 lessons so far and am enjoying it.

Tennis class is something out of the story books in all honesty. I take lessons from one man who is older by older I mean I think his track suit is my age and his nephew or asst. or both I can't really figure it out. nevertheless, they are hysterical. The younger one who is probably in his 40s wants to learn English so he asks me to translate when he has a question, not too long ago he asked me what "Be Chill!" means. I told him it was something along the lines of take a rest. And so his next comment to me was, "OK, we will play 20 minutes then we will be chilll, then we will play, then we will be chill." Trying not to laugh during this encounter was extremely tough. THe older man, who I'm supposed to call Meister, tells me he likes my smile everytime we play.

My friend Irene, with whom I was speaking French moved to Congo about two weeks ago. I'm sad to have her go. We had a great going away/50th bday celebration at her house where a middle aged ukrainian man named Andriy asked me to dance and then told me I was a "perfect dancer" and followed it up with "you are like butterfly."

My friends Dan and Lesya had their baby! I'm excited for when I will be able to meet said baby! I'm going to try and let the schedule for both them and me calm down a bit and probably give them a call when summer comes. they're moving into an apt. and I'm sure have TONS of things on their plate!

I had a great dinner two weeks ago with my friends Linda and Christi Anne, fabulous Thai Food and company of course. I always love hanging out with them. It feels homey and comfortable.

My small Lviv family of expats will soon be supplemented by the addition of a new volunteer here in lviv, though from what I've heard said newbie will be in New Lviv which is like a 30 min bus ride from center and thus not close to me or Scott. The new training group will be sworn in in Mid-June and then will be out to site in no time.

Let's see what else, what else, I'm enjoying the many joys of spring time flowers and produce and loving that I don't have to wear a coat outside except for very recentely when there has been non-stop rain.

In other news, I started FINALLY my Ukrainian lessons just yesterday. I'll be taking two lessons a week with a teacher here at teh school, Lilia. I'm excited and feel like I'll finally be able to make some progress in the language. I know my skills have dropped off since training, but at the same time other skills in terms of confidence have grown. So there you have it.

In the coming months, I'll be on the road and so won't be checking emails etc. too often. My friend Aida from Lac du Bois arrives in just a week now and we will be headed to Kyiv together and then when she heads to Western Europe I'll be heading down south and going to Chernivtsi to do a camp with Joe for a week. From there, I'll head back to Lviv. I'm hoping at some point to head to Nosivka to see my host family but it's hard to find the time. After that summer will be in full swing! Thank goodness!!!!!

I suppose that's all for now.
hugs and kisses to all

You don't move me anymore and I'm glad that you don't

Well, the business and general speed of things has continued throughout these past weeks.

Firstly, I had a horrible encounter with a mosquito last week leading my eye swelling up like a golf ball. Head to facebook if you're interested while my dignity doesn't cover facebook it covers the complete stranger land that could although probably isn't my blog.

Headed down to the carpathians this weekend to hit up a Half Marathon. Had a great time riding trains. I realise when I look back at these posts that I never really explain socialising in Peace Corps life, perhaps it's my own fear of looking bad or unprofessional or something. Either way, I had a great time meeting new people. And even more, as always I was happy to see Andy again. I can't help the feeling of comfort that comes over me being with my cluster pals. I think it's mostly that I just feel protected maybe we protected each other too much in training. All the same, it is how it is.

Well, the highlights of the marathon were in no particular order: being with fun people, having a great time and enjoying the weather. Oh and Shashlik.

My plans continue to mount up and I find myself not remembering what I'm supposed to be doing. My place is a wreck despite my huge clean out over easter and I have dishes and laundry that are waiting to be done. It seems every weekend from here to the end of school something has come up and I won't have those free days to do anything. perhaps it's my own fault for over committing myself when I had gotten behind already.

I've been having missing home days lately too. I think with the coming of spring and summer I feel mostly disconnected from the garden oddly enough. I miss doing things on the garden with my parents. After France, there was a new zeal in me to help them and I always tried to help with mulching and a couple beds or so every year. I miss not having something to dote on and take care of in the form of the green and oxygen producing. We rode through the Carpathians on our train ride back, I told Linnea a few times. I know that life would've been hard and my life is tremendously more "liveable" in a certain sense living in Lviv. BUT part of me yearns to live in a village and do some farming. Or at least some gardening. Joe has told me about his chances to get a plot, I find myself decidedly jealous.

Other than that, I've returned to teaching of course this week. Filling out lots of paperwork as the end of the school year comes. Journals that I'm never caught up on and other things as well. Had a great class with my 3rd graders today. As always, they make me want to be a better teacher and do great activities with them.

OK, that's about all here. I'm putting out the call for new music. If you can send me things using Yousend or just recommend new albums it'd be greatly appreciated I'm needing a change to spring me forward no pun intended!

loveandhugs

What do they do with the light in the morning when they wake up alone?

A post concerning Easter and other holiday-esque details

Easter in Ukraine is a magical time filled with busy markets, busy people and more importantly days off of school. My counterpart has returned and with her my hours have gone back to normal (A miracle). I love my third and first forms as per usual and have been making headway with both groups. I know they're learning I just wish they'd talk more! We'll see what happens.

1. A box of books arrived from the United States (awesome) I'm working on a safety project and starting some grant work for my school. And hopefully, keeping busy doing other teaching stuff as well!

2. It's staying light til almost 8oclock at nite making my life that much more enjoyable. Oh yeah and there has been sun and warm weather.

3. An actual talk about Easter. What perhaps are you wondering are the Easter traditions that I so wonderfully experienced? Well, let's start with the fact that on palm sunday they don't use palms but willow branches. Accordingly, I bought a bunch from a baba selling by one of the churches and am now proudly displaying it in my house. I also bought many pysanky or Ukrainian Easter Eggs (think of the ones that most people think are russian in teh states but are actually ukrainian). I have a collection of about 5 or 6 and I'm hoping it will grow with me as my time here does. But of course I'll have to wait until next Easter (my last) to get more. I'm thinking of buying 15 next year (a hefty investment at about 120grv assuming the price is the same. Not much for the states only 15$ but still) I want to bring some back with me to decorate wherever I may live in the coming years. So, Good Friday I went over to Linda's to watch a processional from the church near her house. They have a representation of Christ on a cloth and to symbolize taking him down from teh cross to put him in the grave they process through the neighborhood. Thanks to Linda I got a prime location for watching on her balcony! Then, I hung out with Scott, Matt, Jordan and Linnea. Linnea and I made a spaghetti dinner enjoyed the many joys of bazaar shopping on Good Friday and bought a Pasca or special Easter bread with frosting and raisins inside. THe nite was wonderful, as it's always wonderful to have friends around and just enjoy time and life. Saturday Linnea and I shopped and enjoyed the center of town and then relaxed at my place until it was time to go out again. We rode the tram back towards center and saw tons of people lined up outside the churches with their Easter baskets waiting to have everything blessed. From what I can tell and what I've been told this is what happens. You fill a basket with eggs, salt, cheese, bread, sausage, pasca and a candle and go to church. A lot of people in villages go to church at 3 or 4am and wait outside to have everything blessed. Here in Lviv, we saw them on Saturday nite around 7pm or so. The priest comes around and blesses your food and there you have it. On Easter Sunday, I headed to the architectural gardens with Linda, Robin, Jim and Linnea and we watched an amazing version of leap frog, I bought a painting we walked around the park it was fantastic and filled with people. Then of course, we met up with Scott and Matt. Monday I took advantage of my day off and cleaned my place top to bottom. I was supposed to do this spring cleaning before Easter, but unfortunately only had time after. Such is life.

3. the week
I headed back to school on Wednesday. I was feeling ill from the weekend but enjoyed a "surprise" Easter lunch with the directors and administration at my school. They have been so welcoming and nice to me it's hard to believe that I've landed in such a great situation. Then on Wednesday nite, I had a great dinner with Dan, Lesya and Scott. I had made a baby blanket for them (Lesya's expecting any day now). We had a wonderful dinner, great conversation and played a board game. It was nice to have company as it always is. On Thursday I was feeling pretty bad, but made it through the day. Friday, at my vice principals urging I took a sick day, but felt better in the afternoon. It was Scott's birthday so I went to join him in center for dinner and had a great time with him and Matt celebrating. Finally, I had some holobtsi on Saturday. I have been craving them since training and enjoyed every moment! I also got to hang out with some other volunteers. And came back home to enjoy a nice quiet evening at home.

4. Other stuff
I've been walking every Sunday with Linda, unfortunately today I couldn't make it out feeling gross again. It's been great to have someone who has walked this whole city over and over show me where to go. All in all, I'm going to be really sad to see her go come July, and I hope that our new volunteer will be just as fun!

I'm going to finally get on top of starting projects, calling the person about trading English for Ukrainian and getting to the yoga studio this month. I feel like I can hardly keep my head from spinning on week days some times, but I really do need to get out and start having a week life outside of work and home which is actually work too.

I'm, as always, more than excited for summer and everything that awaits. I'm thinking about a couple of trips, a friend from my French immersion camp may come and visit so I may take her around Ukraine. I need to go see my host family. I'm hoping to go and visit Joe and Andy at their sites. And I'm hoping that I can go and see two of my friends, Matt and Scott coach at a softball camp over teh 4th of July week. Enough trips for the summer add in enjoying Lviv saying adios to Linda and all that and it seems like it'll fly. Plus there's the added bonus of canning!!!!

Love and hugs!!!

I just wanted to be your moon alone in your night sky

The past few weeks have opened up a new world. In other words spring is here in full force, sunshine, daylight savings time and general pleasurable wonder. The kids at school are getting anxious for everything especially being outside. They come early to school these days fitting in a game of soccer before classes start, which seeing them so active about something makes me happy. I cant say I like having kids playing soccer right outside my window at 8am (soccer field is right outside my window) but I'm happy for them to enjoy the weather and breathe the air. I've been taking more walks although not taking pictures (half of new years resolution accomplished half not)I feel like the world has opened to a new town. I live in a completely different city with completely different people. I enjoy things that otherwise would've been dull and I feel the interest of spring and promise of a new existence bubbling under the surface of everything. My mood is really enthralled, ecstatic and some what uncontrollably happy.

Section One: Work Life
feel free to skip sections as you feel fit. First: I'm teaching my "new" counterparts lessons these days amounting to about 22ish hours a week. It's a lot to get used to and a lot of prep work. Some days are better than others but overall I'm ok with it. I know there are only 3 teachers in teh department right now handling at the very least 72-ish hours of English lessons, so it's normal that I"m teaching right around 20/22. The other teachers have a lot of lessons as well, so I'm not complaining. My troubles with discipline are still present; I'm slowly trying to work through them and have been taking advantage of the willingness of the other teachers or sometimes administrators to sit in on my classes to control the discipline. Discipline is super challenging for me here. I've probably said this multiple times in this blog, but honestly it's tough and something that most people in peace corps that I've talked to face. If you have any suggestions about classroom discipline I'll take it. I will preface by saying since reading Punished by Rewards I can't bring myself to do stick and carrot methods, so I never make threats to my students. I impose consequences after the action has taken place and explain why I want the action to stop as a means for stopping it. This obviously isn't working for me, but I won't change to stick and carrot, so if you could give other options between the two it'd be appropriate. Secondly, my projects are starting and I couldn't be more exciting. Thanks to my mom the local AAUW is donating their leftover childrens' books to my school. THe problem is I have to find a way to get CHEAP shipping. Meest from my research is the best option. If there is anyone out there who is willing to donate money to have these books shipped to Ukraine please contact me via the comments and I will give you my mom's info and the book collection info! Also, my darien Book Aid order is still being processed. Hopefully we'll get some good books. Secondly, I started the beginnings of a project this week as I'm going to start writing a grant for my school to get help in funding for their gym building project. It will take about 3 months as I've calculated for me to write the grant and I will be only helping them do this project, but I'm excited about the process. It'll be a partnership grant basically pooling on my resources and networks back at home to help raise funds and money!!! Thirdly, I'm working on developing some teach-ins and workshops in conjunction with the opening of the gym. I'm hoping to pair up with teh other volunteer in Lviv and have his Physical Ed. Master's students come and run a Girls' Sports day. Gender empowerment and just general community building. THere's also another volunteer about two hours away hosting information on Special Needs concerns. I would really like to finance/bring two educators to one of his sessions. I'm hoping as more volunteers come around the area I can build a network of service opportunities for the kids at my school. My dream is not only to help their English, but a little civics and service can go a long way!

Section Two: Easter Preparations
So, Easter prep is in full swing. According to Ukrainian tradition this is the week to clear and clean out to prepare the way as it were. I've bought about 5 Ukrainian traditional eggs. Pictures to follow later. And I bought a traditional willow branch bundle instead of Palms for palm Sunday. It's fun to see the mood of everything change. I even have some days off of school this week and next (bonus!) I'll take what I can get let's be honest

Section Three: Discovering my city
I've been privileged the last couple weeks to have some visitors and people here give me time to explore my city. I've been as I said earlier walking more and appreciating what there was. But I've spent time with Dan and Lesya (I've talked before of my general love of them). They graciously got me information about a wonderful yoga studio here in Lviv where I can take two yoga lessons per week for a very small 150grv per month (equiv. of 20 dollars/month) and Dan also found some information about me being able to trade English/Ukrainian lessons, another huge boost to acclimating to life here. I can finally say I feel like I"m becoming a part of my city discovering markets, bazaars and bounds of other places with the help of people here has made my mood sky rocket that much more. Linda and I went on our Sunday walk today. We snaked through center and markets and parks. I just feel like every new corner of the city is a new place where I feel at home. Ukraine I don't think will fit like France did. But the more and more I'm here and living life on my own, making my own way, I feel better and better. Having Linda and Dan and Lesya and Scott along for the ride sure helps!

That's all for now, a long and wordy entry without pictures nonetheless. I'll try I'll try. As the weather gets nicer and the sun is out longer it'll be easier for me to do this. I'm thinking a daily walk around 4pm everyday is going to be a must.

loveall

millions of creatures could open my eyes

The weekend was wonderful. My first successful train ride in Ukraine. I enjoyed the wonders of Platzkart which to be honest wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I took a train after my classes on Thursday and then had a run in with the trolley police. Well, not police but controllers. First my trolley didn't come. Then after walking to where my connection was I got on. I was a little flustered and well, I'm generally bad at punching my trolley ticket. Like I should definitely go to remedial punch my trolley ticket school. Nevertheless, the controllers showed up, told me my punch wasn't right. I insisted that I had bought the ticket and punched it there. The lady DID NOT believe me. I told her again that I had that I wasn't from Lviv, but that I had tried my best to do it. She again did not believe me pulling out her very thick glasses to check it and count the dots. She called her friend over, I acted like I was really upset about the whole ordeal repeating that I wasn't from Lviv. They eventually must have thought that no Ukrainian would've put up such a stink and let me go without a fee or any issues. For teh record, I did buy and punch the ticket that day, I'm just really really bad at punching trolley tickets. New skill list to acquire.

After that, I stopped to buy a drink from a lady at the train station and as I didn't have correct change and she being a place of business obviously had NO kopecks, she paid me my 45 kopecks of change in what, that's right strawberry candies. BONUS! a little bit like Christmas not going to lie. After a long wait for the train I have a habit of showing up to early because I get nervous about being late. I got on the train and enjoyed three hours of looking outside at the Ukrainian country side. Side bar: the snow in Lviv had melted giving way to spring, seeing earlier notes. I arrived in Ivano-Frankivsk to snow covered sidewalks much to my anti delight. Joe's bus ended up being late, um a lot late but we'll get to that. SO I took a taxi to John's house, the wonderful volunteer who put us up. I hung out with John a senior volunteer from the middle of Iowa who was fantastic and wonderful. Joe showed up at the place an hour and a half later. Turns out Joe was supposed to get in at 7 or so some Baba on his bus told him. Then when 705 came around he called me to tell me that she said they'd be another 20. Or she wrote down 20 and he wasn't sure if she meant 20 minutes or 8oclock. I waited until about 735 when joe texted to say I could leave if I wanted. Anyway, Joe arrived and it was great to catch up and have time with him just like cluster. SO, we were told some people would be getting in around 6am. Andy being the joy of life he is texted me at 4am asking me where I was. At 6am a head pokes into the room and who is it but an ELATED Andy at seeing Joe and I asleep in the room. Andy proceeds to first jump on Joe exclaiming, "oh my god it's Fluffy." and then heads for my bed. We woke up the next morning had great omelets and then headed to teh warden meeting. Always a joy to spend time with Serhiy Pashinskiy. After all the discussions, I told him I'd be willing to take on a project, sounds like I'll be doing something with a girl's guide to safety. Joe is doing a much cooler project on re-vamping the Emergency Locator Form.

After the meeting we went for waffles/lunch and then headed to bazaars while we waited for John to get back from a meeting. I had fun just wandering around talking and not talking to people. It made me realise as I was walking that everyone else was always looking for someone to walk with or follow. Unfortunately I was not born with this trait. Sometimes it seems like my ability to be just fine on my own can be detrimental. I can't help that I don't mind just being on my own. Life is what it is. On the good side, I got some fantastic gloves and learned the lesson, never settle for the over priced gloves on the stairs when there's probably a half expensive pair in the back stalls. Luckily, I got the back stall cheap gloves. Made John dinner and met Ruth and Alexis who were fantastic.

The next morning, Serhiy Pashinskiy drove us to Kolomiya where the other region had "meet your neighbor" I enjoyed the company of their region and most of all really felt like I was on a vacation for the first time in a long time. we stayed at a great b&b and I laughed teh whole time. I missed being with my boys; plus I met some really great people. The bed and breakfast in Kolomiya was fantastic and if you ever want to go to the Carpathian foothills in a cute town I recommend it. That night we went to dinner and bar where I had a great time and a russian guy grabbed my butt. Awesome. Spent the next day in town with Erin a volunteer from Zakarpatzka oblast who is organizing a half marathon that I'm volunteering at in April. Had a fantastic time. And then, I enjoyed the many joys of taking a late train back and fell asleep on the train. I was sitting up with my head resting against the side of teh car and I drooled down my sleeve, CLASSY! The guy across from me looked at me like I was nuts. So much for good impressions and cross cultural learning. Got home late and woke up to teach. Luckily, I got to sleep in a little.

Unfortunately, after my 3rd form class, they told me that my new counterpart is out sick as in in the hospital. Awesome, I'm a total curse on these teachers I swear. So, I'm covering her classes for who knows how long. That brings me to 21 hours of English (no more French since I'm covering all teh English classes) and then I'm doing 1 hour of English with my director and starting Friday will be doing one hour of English with the director of Education in Lviv. Work is work! Kids are good and bad, but nothing beats it when I feel like we're getting somewhere or they're learning. So that's life, a full schedule. Lots coming up actually. But I'll spare you the plan of the next few weeks. Also, the vice principal asked me to run a demo lesson for the other teachers of foreign language so that they can see my style of teaching, ask for details if you want to know but not something i'm going public with.

In other news, I hate teh fact that there was a freaking snow storm and now Lviv is once again covered in heavy wet dense snow. PLEASE SPRING COME PLEASE!

a side track

I liked this I will share it

Like you I
love love, life, the sweet smell
of things, the sky-blue
landscape of January days.

And my blood boils up
and I laugh through eyes
that have known the buds of tears.

I believe the world is beautiful
and that poetry, like bread, is for everyone.

And that my veins don't end in me
but in the unanimous blood
of those who struggle for life,
love,
little things,
landscape and bread,
the poetry of everyone.
Roque Dalton.

do you think that we like to take our orders from fools

So another few weeks has passed at site. This week I feel like I was able to see a lot of the city bouncing between dates and meetings and just exploring.

More project ideas have come to mind and after lots of meetings I'm working on deciding what it is I really want to do/ can do and how to do that. The week started speaking with my director and now I'm going to be doing tutoring with both her and the director of education for the city of Lviv. An opportunity that while it benefits them in the language department will hopefully benefit me in the end in the networking department and what I am able to do with my two years. On Wednesday, I had teh opportunity to meet with a group of people at a catholic charity that I was introduced to by Irene. A great party and interesting presentation on VanGogh and great to meet new people who I will hopefully become hooked up with and can do things with! On Thursday, I met with Linda which is always a joy. Talking to Linda makes me want to do something with my service beyond just teaching English. She's a great role model for service and life in general and I hope that even though she's heading back to teh states in summer we can remain in contact. Friday was meet your neighbor. Saturday I explored teh city finding great things to do at teh bazaar and it left me wanting to explore every bazaar here. I found a great spice guy and had a hand mixed spice in a small paper envelope to take home (great!) what else, the markets are great and now that springs coming I can feel the excitement in everyone around me. On sunday nite I went and saw Madame Butterfly with Dan and Lesya and their guests. As always things are wonderful adn I'm happy. new pictures on my facebook of the town. things are getting busy and I cannot wait for things to start taking off. I remind myself every day that patience is a virtue and hopefully if I work hard I will be rewarded. An unexpected high moment and reward one of my students brought me a beautiful purple hyacinth plant for International Women's day celelbrated widely in Ukraine, so much so that I have the day off of school.

loveyou all

with no alarms and no surprises

Here we are at the beginning of another month. It's hard to think where time goes. Perhaps I'll just start contemplating it in a Slaughterhouse Five cyclical kind of way and then nothing will seem to pass quickly but to go and come as moments might or should.

Where should I begin. My Regional Manager came and visited last Thursday. The visit went well. By all accounts my seventh form acted quite well in front of him. There were some outbursts and I know that they were putting on a brave face and liking what we were doing for the sake of getting it done because he was there. But despite my discipline issues with them it was a good visit. My Manager gave me some hints as to how to improve my teaching and what I could do to help with discipline and varied skill levels in the classroom. And then we talked with my director which was a really great talk. She expressed her thankfulness not only at having a full time volunteer but also at having me as their volunteer which was really great. I was finally able to thank them for all that they have done for me thus far. So, mission accomplished visit finished for the time being and thus happy Kari and happy school.

The weekend was quiet, finally, I finished the book my mom sent and am down to my last english language book, though we'll see how that pans out in the next couple weeks. Another volunteer says she's going to give me some so that could be great. The highlight was getting to talk to my family. As my parents are in Detroit this weekend I got passed around the breakfast table and loved hearing from everyone in teh room. Beyond that, let's see, had another meeting with my director and vice-director today. They asked me about teaching English to someone in teh community one or two hours per week. I, of course, said yes. And I'll be doing one hour of English teaching with my director as well per week. All of this is good, a nice and varied schedule will keep me going and moving. I do best when I'm working a lot, well maybe not too much. But I do need things to keep me busy so I don't fall into a rut. The best thing for me is to have to work my hours right in a row. nevertheless, they also let me know that the cleaning lady is going to be coming into my place once a week to clean everything for me, vacuum, wash the bathroom etc. More reason for me to keep a tidy household instead of waiting til I have the time to actually get the cleaning done. I feel so spoiled, they often cook for me and now the cleaning. I told them that I did it on my own, they lured me in with the prospect of having it vacuumed once per week and then added that she'd also be cleaning other things as well. I'm trying to accept their graciousness by paying them back by working for them as much as possible in many domains.

Let's see what else. . . the discipline is still an issue and it makes me feel like a bad teacher. I'm trying not to let it get me down and help my students with something that only I can do with them. And so this month in 7th form is pronunciation month. I'm coming up with different pronunciation games and activities to try and help the accent. Unfortunately, i feel like I'm going to be met with some resistance. Each week this month, I'm going to be giving them a tongue twister to memorize. They will be able to read it on Monday/Tuesday with me and then will present it to the class on Friday, my hope is to have them turn into teachers. So that when they present the tongue twister on Friday they will have the class repeat it after them and then they will be able to help the class with their pronunciation as I have helped them. In between the time when I am helping each student I'm going to try and get different listening activities or something like this that the students can do. . . . we'll see it's still in the nest of my thinking.

A big long journal entry about pedagogical things, what can I say. The snow is melting and I'm crossing my fingers that this is it, this is spring. I can see pavement and ground, but there are still plenty of snow mounds. The school dog has taken to sleeping outside my room/apartment, I'm going to buy him some dog treats this week. He scratches the outside mat and groans when he wants me to come out and pet him.

Well, love and hugs to all.

She's got a cactus crown with a dot dot dot on her brow

So, perhaps this is my first reflection on ukrainian culture and language without coming from my own experience. here goes. . .

A Reflection on the names of Ukrainian months which fills my head probably more than it should.

So, the month of February is called лютий seemingly coming from the word (or at least to a non native speaker) любити which means to love. Which again could make my interpretation of it more skewed because obviously, I think this is related to St. valentine's Day or perhaps a tradition of love giving in February that is now linked to St. valentines. The Next month is березень or the month of the birch tree (I think!) And as I've been told it is in this month that you tap the Birch tree or as my host sister called it the tree that weeps for their juice (which is by the way delicious) my host family canned it and added lemon and it was fantastic. Next comes квітень, квітка being the word for flower. I suppose here it's March showers bring April flowers. . . Followed closely by May otherwise known as травень the month of herbs. After that I'm not too well acquainted other than the months I've lived here. So, November is лістопад (falling leaves) and October is жовтень yellow month. Feeling poetic yet? The Russian months from what I know follow closely to the numerical roman months that we're used to. While difficult to memorize given the fact that they are completely unrelated to numbers I much prefer the agricultural lean to the calendar of the Ukrainian language. It makes me wonder if in earlier times жовтень wouldn't have been different for each section of the Ukrainian speaking world. How long would these months last? Sometimes longer than others depending on the year or season? And when would you know that you were making that slight transition into the next. This lack of definite subdivision given by the numerical leaning calendar of our own leans itself to teh idea of Ukrainian time in general. My students are hardly ever in a rush and while they apologize when they are late, they rarely arrive early to anything. It's not that I prefer one way over the other. I will always be awkwardly early fearing that being late is causing my host or guests etc. undue concern and anxiety. But at the same time, I enjoy that there is something of a lax nature of time here. While I can't quite reconcile my own tendencies with the nature of time that I prefer, it still makes me think of a culture so rooted in its perceptions of teh world around it that it's months were given the names of the natural world around it. It may sound a little romantic and in osome ways I'm sure I'm romanticizing it. But I also just adore the visuals that come with knowing the name of the month. I like that when I think of October here, I will always think of teh yellow leaves littering the streets on my way to language class with my cluster mates in Nosivka. Similarly, I know that as these months pass it will be the natural world often that provides the backdrop and reason of my memory. Without sounding overly simplistic, I think language when wrapped in an idea to transport the platonic ideal of yellowness to the name of the month is really quite true to its form. I think that when you can wrap all the things yellow can be into the idea of a month it translates into the world around you and exudes that yellowness through structure or otherwise. In the end, after thinking about this development of language I thought to myself that I should reconcile the calendars I've been making with the names of the month, and so I'm including a picture of my march calendar featuring none other than birch trees.

In news about school, if you'd like it. . . My regional manager will be here on Thursday visiting my classes, meeting with me and the directors and inspecting my place to make sure I've completed my checklist. I'm nervous. He will be observing my 7th form class and I'm nervous about their behaviour. I know I'm not doing something right with them, they're acting out all the time. I'm looking for ways to improve my teaching with them and maybe having Bohdan visit them will push me to create something that will constantly keep them activated and engaged, but it's hard with the varying skill levels present in the classroom. Apart from that, I did create a lesson based on listening using some pop music which they loved. We listened to a song and i had them count every time they heard the words busy, telephone and call/calling. It was really interesting to see how close they were to my counts that I had heard when I listened to the song. Beyond that, we talked about why they may have heard the word too many times or why they didn't hear it enough. Sparking an interesting discussion about listening to people and things when speaking in a foreign language. And then, they were really excited and happy to have been able to understand some of the words as we dissected the lyrics a little bit more. The highlight was when they all at the end of class were able to sing along to the song using the correct words without ever seeing them in front of them! My third grade class has been altogether this week because the other teacher is out sick. They get excited to be all together, but what is more is that the class always likes to show me what they've accomplished, showing me what they do and when they finish their written work. They just like learning English and I'm happy to be their teacher. Today, one of my students who is particularly fond of my teaching gave me a hug and then turned to one of the other students in teh other group and said "Isn't my teacher Cool!" And today, I feel like I made some good break throughs with my first graders, while it's really hard to handle them as a class, they've been writing and reading better and better. I'm not sure what my end of the year goals for them are. But they know their numbers, they know their letters, they know their colours. and we're working slowly on days of the week; over, under, on. And now my and 's ownership. At the very least, I got more hugs in first grade today. I have two twin boys one who is super excited for English named Buroslav and one who is not excited for English but is excited to show me his new toy named Yaroslav. Buroslav as always delights in calling me over and saying "teacher I'm finished" or "Miss kari, I wrote it!" And today one of teh boys in my class who I think may be autistic and/or have special needs has decidedly begun to trust me and gives me hugs and wants to hold my arm and when I come over and tell him no today he said ok ok I'll listen now. So, today, despite having its frustrating moments there were some really good ones too. For this I'm grateful. I still miss everyone in the states and am gearing up for the next few weeks of meetings. ugh! But at teh same time there are great things coming out of these meetings.

So that's all for now, love and hugs!

in the back of your mind just like a wind chime

The joys of a package on a broken, weary soul.

Today, my friends I received a glorious package from my parents. After a long hard day of teaching kids who are generally uninterested in learning, I find that a package will delight and tickle my soul. And so, here is a props to my parents for a complete restocking of pants in my wardrobe. I officially have thrown out all full-length pants i brought with me in exchange for new ones, that happen to fit better. Also, props for the fact that my mom stocked me with the Stromberg family Best of 2009 mix. First of all, Cheryl is a genius for coming up with this idea when I was in France. This being our third annual mix, I'm excited that I will be back for the 5th annual where I am hoping we can add a category like best song from the last five years you wish you would've put on the list but didn't because you found out about it after the new year. etc. etc. This mix is filling my life with great new music and great new moods.

And now, for more news about ukraine and the like. My kids have gotten used to me being here and being their teacher. It's amazing how quickly kids adapt to those kinds of things, it's amazing how quickly I've adapted to this. I requested a set of books today from my director so that i can lesson plan appropriately. And I've started giving tests etc. etc. etc. in the next few months I feel like all will be passing quickly, sometimes too quickly. The snow is . . . not melting. what else can I say. probably not much

love and hugs to you all

We can't be to and fro like this All our lives

An Account of a weekend of Valentine in Drohobych. . .

Despite what you all may be thinking, I really don't like to travel. That is I LOVE going to new places and seeing new things, but I hate the "getting there." When I can, I try and stay as comfortable as possible in my own surroundings. But, of course, the want to see new things and calling from friends and family will often push me out of said comfort zone aka my house or town and make me bite the bullet and do the actual "travelling."

This past weekend, was one of said trips when I ventured to visit Drohobych. To be honest, it's not that bad of a trip especially by Ukrainian standards. It takes approximately 1 hour or a bit more to get from my bus stop to the main bus station from where the buses to drohobych leave. Upon my arrival, I followed the directions I was given, bought a ticket from the 3rd cash register and loaded teh bus ignoring the place listed on my ticket and just picking, because no one really follows those listings anyway. Unfortunately, being a Friday nite the bus was packed. And so, when a man who had bought a ticket got on the bus and there were no seats left he made who ever was in his seat move. And so, boy and girl from the seats moved. Next comes teh two people in their seats who had to get up and move and consequently made me and the girl next to me move. I go up to the front where everyone assumes being that I don't speak ukrainian well, that I'm the one without the ticket. Not the case. I show them my ticket. And after saying sixteen times that I have seat 3 they agree with me; because they read my ticket. Only problem is girl in seat 3 is not having it and is not going to get out of my seat and keeps saying, well I have seat two and those boys are in my seat. After awhile and a lot of yelling on the part of the driver who was explaining that someone must be without a ticket. 3 girls get up in the back and get off teh bus because surprise surprise they don't have a ticket. I get the bad seat in the back because 3rd seat homie wont stand up and I don't want to cause a scene. As you can guess there was more than just me trying to figure it out becuase there were 3 people without tickets. Me, a girl, and surprise surprise my seat neighbor a 18 year old boy drenched in cologne with a penchant for falling asleep on my shoulder. This bus ride lasts another 2 hours. I get to Drohobych, taking the only marshrustka available to where linnea says I should, "look for a gaudy orange building." I don't see said building but the stop was teh end of the line. Luckily, upon getting out I saw what I thought was a gaudy orange building (good description). Linnea and I proceed to get groceries at the store where I almost knocked down the baggage drop cabinets trying to shove my backpack into it, an older lady yelled at linnea to move out of the way of teh cheese, and the homie at teh check out didn't understand when i asked for a plastic bag. Actually, the trip/weekend was good, it was just we had bad luck with weather and travelling. So, the next day after a stunning walk around town in the snow, seeing some old wooden churches that were fantastic and enjoying a tour of 6 sentences and time for me to ask questions in the church built in the 15th century; we headed to Truskavets, Linnea's other town. That bus ride was like getting to know people on a whole new level. We squeeeeeeezed in and stood in the front enjoying the many joys of a marshrutka so crowded someone on the outside has to shut the door. It's a little bit like zipping an overfull suitcase. Except we're people and it's oddly uncomfortable to be touched and squeezed against that many people you don't know. So, we took the another marshrut in town to what we thought was the mall, but what ended up being a supermarket with Everything a person from teh states could want. Hot chocolate in many different flavours, bulk grains, garlic powder and curry. (bonus find!) We returned to drohobych and went to a nice english pub and enjoyed some french fries. And spent a quiet evening at the house. In the end the trip was great. I still hate going on busses (the bus rides back were less eventful but still bus rides). But I think that the pay off for knowing that I'm using public transportation equals it out. I love trains (for teh most part) and I really love the trams and trolleys here in Lviv. These forms of public transport are easily my favourite. I'm hoping my years here will convert me to a person who will go on any transport in the states because I can stand anything.

In other news, I bought oregano at teh store in Truskavets and made a fantastic spicy italian soup tonite. The 8th grade class is going to interview me for some reason. Still teaching the 1st, 3rd and 7th form. Still am in desperate need of stickers. My students waver and I tihnk the school wants me to start doing some kind of English club for teachers or adults. we'll see. My counterpart has officially left teh school so I'm looking for a new one. AND other than that I read a lot last week. Am hoping to do the same this week and yes I'm still looking for books. The snow has forced me mostly indoors and I'm thinking about heading to center this week to pick up some yarn so I can crochet a baby blanket for some friends here who are having a baby in April. They have really welcomed me and I'm looking for a way to show my gratitude via baby present. I'm so excited for the melting season. . .

Missed the family and friends this week! Love you all and hugs!

I was little boy lost and I was little boy blue

Hello to everyone in the wonderful world of blog land.

things are as always going really well here. I'm enjoying the wonderful world of Ukrainian winter and the snow, which I'm ready to get rid of, but accepting as a part of the general existence here. Still, the thought of summer tends to creep in my head and I can't help but think of all the things that will be possible once the snow is gone and I'm able to walk wherever and spend time outside.

This week, life has been pretty standard. I've been teaching, as per usual, and just kind of taking time to lesson plan etc. This week we had visitors from AISEC, which I believe is some sort of students exchange program for people from different countries who speak english to run programs in other countries, again, in English. So, we had visitors from Turkey, Brazil and Taiwan come and visit our school and let the kids know about different countries etc. etc.

Suzanne came down to visit today. Had a wonderful time walking around the city despite the cold and enjoying the company for the late afternoon.

I'm making progress with my 3rd formers, something that bolsters my confidence if only a little bit. I also successfully taught my 1st formers under over and on and so we're working on questions like where is the ball.

At the urging of my mother, I'm updating the wish list on the right. so take a look.

What else can I say. . . big day tomorrow. Elections here, don't know which candidate will win. I live in the west and so Timonshenko is favoured here, but who knows what the outcome will be.

The best part about tomorrow is it's burrito cooking nite at Dan and Lesya's with Linda and Christie Anne, so I'm happy for even more company.

Let's see what insights can I leave. Peace Corps time passes quickly and it often seems as if nothing is really going on. I like to take moments each day to think about what i could've done better and also what I did raelly well. No matter how boring or self-indulgent it seems. I finished reading Bill Moyer's on Democracy this week, lent to me by another volunteer. It's filled with quotes that make you want to get up and do something. I try to remind myself that in my own small way I am doing something. It's amazing how much you can trick yourself into thinking you've never done anything. By Ukrainian standards, I'm an old maid. I'm 25 years old, no husband, no kids and no long term job. I kind of bounce around doing whatever. But I tell myself that the whatevers that I've been doing for however long are, despite the fact that my life is small, still salient and important. i think we all crave to be the big person every now and again. To have the personality and power to influence others and make a difference in how things happen. We fantasize about what we would be doing if only guaranteed the appearance in some cataclysmic or climactic moment. The truth is, I've thought, more than once about sending a letter to obama about my reflections on America living my post college career out of the country. I tihnk in some ways, I've forgotten that even though I'm not a HUGE personality, I'm still doing something that is worthwhile. this isn't to say I question my peace corps decision in anyway. I'm more than committed to my work and school life here. But, I will say, working in Education can wear you down, I suppose working in any field can, and some days when nothing seems to sink in it's hard to remember why you're trying to teach anyone anything.

On a more positive note, I've finished 13 books in my 19/20 weeks here. I'm grateful for teh simplicity and the time that my life offers. There's nothing quite like knowing that you will have the time to enrich your soul and mind.

FOr teh first time this week I rode a mashrutka at rush hour. mistake, I've been squeezed in ways I never thought possible and now have a thorough sympathy for sardines and chinese acrobats in boxes.

love and hugs to all

One day we're gonna live in paris, I promise

this is a simple simple blog to one give a shout out to Dena aka Deener who sent me a glorious package.

And to the staff at Hill Middle School especially one Ms. Sue Johnson who organized getting a card together with letters from my old co-workers! It really made teh day to have some notes from home!

In other news, parents meetings are this week. Which means that I awkwardly wait in my apartment while they have meetings in the cafeteria.

Also, this week is AISEC week aka a group of young people from all over the world come to lead different activities and meetings with my students in English. yesterday, I did some hosting, but today I had a French lesson with my 5th graders. Who I think beleive I'm teh funniest person who has ever lived. They are pretty much alone in this department, other than my mom, who mostly just laughs at my misery and not necessarily my jokes. In fact, that's a common theme amongst people who are close to me. . . perhaps my tries at sympathy are laughable, skill to work on, looking more pathetic so people will do things for me to comfort me. Such as, giving me free vacations.

Peace Corps gave us all the "awesome" gift of an extra day of leave! woo! why you ask are we graced with such an awesome gift. Oh it's because we all got vaccinated for H1N1 within the end of the month (nothing says vacation like swine flu vaccines). I'm currently undecided as to what to do with said day off. First, I have to figure out when my vacations are, hard to do, because asking is awkward. next, I have to plan a vacation. I'm thinking about Turkey with some friends. Because it's cheap and quick and well, nothing says I need a vacation like Turkey.

Today, I had another interesting encounter with the lady who runs the kitchen and cleaning in school. Something along the lines of her telling me that the Baker didn't bring the bread today and so when I was eating my soup there wasn't any. I told her this wasnt' a problem. She joked about the weight I've been losing here. She kept doing an action like she was a synchronized swimmer or beauty queen just come out of the water. She made another joke about one of something, i didn't really get it. I really dont' understand a good half of my life here, but I've adjusted to not knowing/having any clue about what's going on around you and just kind of going with the I mean I guess this is teh right way to do things flow.

I had a dream I owned a scooter. . . one to get around in teh states, I wasn't there but I remember making the comment about me getting the scooter specifically for life in the states. I also thought about 20 minutes today about the state of my parents compost pile (I don't know if this is dedication to teh compost and/or extreme amounts of free time that plague most volunteers) I considered no short of 200 different ways to improve it, what the earthworms that my parents say are the size of boas look like how they're effecting the ph of the soil etc. etc. etc. how to work in more animal matter into the compost. . . This is an odd manifestation of home sickness if that's what it is. But over teh next two years, I've decided to dedicate some time to reading about productive/the best ways to compost and raising chickens. . . . don't judge

that's all for teh random thoughts of the day love and hugs

So why not let me in off your worn out welcome mat.

This week has been filled with unexpected engagements dates fun and all the other things that come with unexpected. The weather, in case national Ukrainian forecast doesn't reach the US, has been well, cold, to say the very least. We've been at about -20 celsius, that's -4F without the windchill, and I mean while It's not the coldest I've ever experienced in my life it's cold. And normally as I awkwardly try to tell people in Ukrainian when they ask me if it's cold like this in America, I say, yes, but the buildings are warm, which happens to not be the case here. However, Eternal gratefulness to my school director who sent (via the cleaning lady) a nice warm wool filled or even synthetic I'm not sure, comforter that has increased my warmth by leaps and bounds. Also, in case you didn't know, I saw my breath in bathroom this week. That's right on the inside.

Well, a lot has happened this week. It's hard to really summarize. I think I'm landing on my feet in some respects with my classes, though we'll see what my role will be once my counterpart returns. At teh very least I'm loving LOVING my French classes and am so grateful to be teaching that. I honestly think I'm a better French teacher than English teacher but there it is. Let's see, saw a fantastic performance last night at the Philharmonic of a dual showing of Four seasons, One, being of course Vivaldi's and the other being Astor Piazzolla, a tango writer! Both fantastic with amazing violin soloists and amazing company!

Let's see other than that I think I'll hold off on everything else so as not to ruin the skyping I'll be doing this weekend, namely with my parents.

I would like to send out awesome all-star awards to the following: My parents, Amabelle Smith, and Kyle Bladow for sening my packages filled with love and goodies from home. I just sent out a batch of letters to the states so hopefully those will be arriving soon. And among the next batch will be thank yous for all of these kiddies. I'm sufficiently stocked on Irish Breakfast tea thanks to Ama and Kyle to last me through any amount of time!
love and hugs to you all

you and I are on the outside of almost everything

Here's a quote I found in Bill Moyer's On Democracy, lent to me by a fellow PCV.
I've made it the official goal of my service in a esoteric theoretical way.
Things are going good. Big surprise it's cold. I'm cold, my apartments cold, I deal by wearing clothes, lots of clothes, like maybe about as many clothes as I wear in a week in the states in one sitting. It's normal no worries. Spring is coming and so is heat where I'll probably write about how many clothes I'm not wearing because it's so hot.

Michael Ventura from Letters at 3 a.m.

"The dream we must now seek to realize, the new human project, is not 'security,' which is impossible to acheive on the planet earth in the latter half of teh 20th century. It is not 'happiness,' by which we generally mean nothing but giddy forgetfulness about the danger of all our lives together. It is not 'self-realization,' by which people usually mean a separate peace. There is no separate peace. . . The real project is to realize that technology has married us all to each other, has made us one people on one planet, and that until we are more courageous about this new marriage - ourselves all intertwined - there will be no peace and the destination of any of us will be unknown. How far can we go together . . . men and women, black, brown, yellow, white, young and old? We will go as far as we can because we must go wherever it is we can go together. There is no such thing as going alone. Given the dreams and doings of our psyches, given the nature of our world, there is no such thing as being alone. If you are the only one in the room it is still a crowded room. But we are all together of this planet, you, me, us: inner, outer, together, and we're called to affirm our marriage vows. Our project, the new human task, is to learn how to consummate, how to sustain, how to enjoy the most human marriage - all parts - all of us."

to get to the morning first you have to get through the night

Let's tell a story about how when I came to Ukraine people said I would have a host mom during training and a host mom (maybe) when I got to site. Now let's tell the reality about my many Ukrainian mothers and the different role each one takes.

First and foremost there's momma Nina. My host mom in Nosivka. Momma Nina helped me adjust to Ukraine, cooked me tasty Ukrainian food, helped me learn to can things and make compot, and made me less afraid of really scary root cellars when she made me go down there during the power outage to get pickles and juice for my guy friends that were over. Now, Momma Nina fills the roll of far away mother who tells you you need to visit all the time, asks you what you're eating, and then tells you good job for managing to cook chicken. I Love Momma Nina and even though it seems every time she calls I'm in some awkward situation where picking up the phone is not an option she calls back two or three times in succession to give me a chance. Every time she calls it brightens my day and I miss Nosivka a little, but I miss Momma Nina more. Plus she's a hoot! No one makes me laugh more than Momma Nina when she's making fun of Bucks the cat.

Secondly, we have my director here at my new school, who when I see her wants me to eat whatever it is she has with her this day and spends time with me while I eat it and makes English conversation with me. I don't see her that often, to tell you the truth, but when I do it feels like someone's on my team, like someone cares about how I'm doing and that makes being abroad a little less scary.

Thirdly, if I can clump I will try we have the two vice-principals at my school. Who always say hello always ask if I'm cold in my apartment if I need anything if the classes are going well if I'm getting enough sleep. They are peaches and again always ready to back them up. Recently, when I was having problems with one of my classes one of them came down and fought for me and told the kids what was what. While I realize that I cant depend on her for discipline again feeling like someone is in your corner is beyond enough for teh day to day struggles that come up.

Fourthly, there is teh woman in charge of housekeeping and the cooks in teh kitchen. They continuously ask me why I am not eating the hot lunch they provide at school. The real reason I don't go every day is not becaues it's not tasty but because every time I try to pay they won't let me and they tell me the director said I shouldn't pay. But I feel bad because peace corps gives me money to afford my own food and so I don't want to take advantage of their unending generosity. THey've gotten me up to eating in there at least once a week if not twice after some strong talkings to from teh head of housekeeping, who when last nite I told her I had sandwiches in my room, she said that's not a hot meal and doesn't count. She's also the peach who wanted to take my bedding and wash it for me. I told her I wash my clothes on my own in my shower so she brought me a bucket and a stool to put it on so I didn't have to bend down to wash. Again, totally wonderful and nice. They also ask me if I'm cold all the time, do we sense a reoccurring theme?

Fifth and Finally, we have another English teacher. Who brings me jams and is going to bring me wine and she always wants to talk to me and is convinced that I will find, in her words, "the other half of the apple" and will marry a Ukrainian man (who are in her words splendid) and that she will thusly be invited to the wedding. Sometimes I think she just likes to see me laugh awkwardly when she brings it up. I tell her I'm too young to be a bride, she seems to think otherwise. But she always makes me smile and feel welcome.

So, there they are, my Ukrainian moms, the ladies who day to day ask me if I'm cold, hungry or looking for a husband. I will say, I love the kids here, although yesterday was a hard day. I do love the students and their enthusiasm to see something new, but these ladies make my stay all the nicer all the warmer and all the easier to transition.

Tonite, in a fit of daring, of teh not at all kind of way, I'm going to the theatre with two other teachers at school who have lovingly adopted me and I hope will be good friends. We are going to see Gogol's the marriage, in ukrainian, I probably will understand perhaps 3 minutes of the hour and a half show, but hey, I'm up for anything and am telling myself not to say no to any invitation.

Miss you all. love and hugs