Just let me fall to be of use, make me the rainstorm, just a piece of hail, you know.

Wintry dreams and wonders. Something about winter always makes me feel at home. Maybe that's what happens when you spend your defining years in the arctic tundra of Northern Michigan. But the familiar feeling of snowy ground and rosy cheeks feels like home, safety and that everything is going to be fine and there are no worries. At least in its first moments winter and its weather tends to bring me comfort. Perhaps in two months when I'm done with walking around in snow I won't feel the same way, but for now I can feel the difference in my mood having to do with snow, coolness, long underwear and a newly found musician who's fitting my wintry bliss just right.

Two entries in one week suffice to say is a product of this happiness. I feel as if these past few weeks have been spent in a haze; one induced by the boredom of my work. My mom called me out on it last time I talked to her on skype, commenting that i just seemed bored. Which is true. I'm itching for winter break to come and to give me some refreshment in that department. But in all honesty today I played battleship with my sixth form and couldn't have been happier. It was good number and letter practice and I just really felt nice to take a break from putting on the show. My second form we actually did some learning. This isn't my favourite group from last year, in fact, its the group where I regularly have to break up fights. But it is home to two students who I worked with this summer at camp who adore me. And between one wanting to stand with me at the front of the room while I teach so he can hold my hand and the other one coming up to me when I was working with another student just to give me a hug my little christmas filled heart grew three times its size.

I talked to Kyle this morning; talked being metaphorical for facebook chat. I could go into the millions of ways and reasons why this conversation set the mood for a day without any problems, but suffice to say Kyle brings humanity into my life and reconnects me to my own life; and I'm grateful for a small moment where we could commune over my morning tea making me feel like my life in America wasn't too far away from me.

I started teaching the militia, by started teaching I mean I showed up for my meeting which was in all honesty a comedy of errors from beginning to end. There are a couple of things I can check off my life list: sitting in a police office with 3 men while they question me about my background (albeit in a non-threatening and more flirtatious manner). Having Ukrainian Militia men ask me to translate two things, "Hello" and "hammer." After being up-ed and down-ed by the first office I had a Seargeant of the Lviv regional police compliment my eyes and then up and down me ask me if I wanted to drink cognac and later in his office before he told me about his dead wife started singing a song about my beautiful "Kari Ochi" otherwise known as hazel eyes, which I don't have, he insisted I did because my name is Kari. Finally, he told me if ever i was in a bar and drunk men wanted "bad things" I should call him and he would take care of it. Thanks Sir! So, now, if wanted I have protective Ukrainian Militia detail and a lot of men who think I'm "their american" brought especially to teach them English and brighten their day with my coy blushing and giggling ways. So many life goals accomplished and only an hour and a half spent in the office.

so there it is a second entry for the week. i hope you're all feeling the warmth I'm enjoying right now in the soul sense rather than the temperature sense.

loveandhugstoall

I heard that your dreams came true. I guess she gave you things I didn't give to you

Winter has arrived in the lacy snow that's covering my backyard and trees. It's funny to think of a playground school yard as your backyard, but I suppose that's what it is. The holiday season has begun with Thanksgiving already through the door and the anticipation of Christmas time activities already filling my head and keeping the time from passing quickly. I can feel the settling in; the familiar feeling of winter here. I feel my body saying, "put on the long underwear. You know what you're in for." The temperatures are dropping though they're nowhere near what they reached last winter my heater is already plugged in and starting to swirl the warm air around my room. Though it mostly feels like it's swirling warm air within a one foot radius. And so, the season of 3 pairs of long underwear has come again to Ukraine. There's a little solace in knowing this time next year I may just be in a decently heated living space. I'm excited for winter (at least the first part of it). Mostly, just the holiday season. But I'm happy to feel something familiar. This whole last year, everything felt so new, all these things at school or in Lviv that I hadn't experienced yet. And eventhough feeling like everything is new or different can be fun, it actually feels nice to know what to expect in some ways. I'm looking forward to school Christmas pageants and performances to watch. And small parties with other volunteers. It seems most are headed home for the holidays and while I get it the going home that is, I feel more comfortable with staying and not rocking the boat.

Thanksgiving was good. Lots of food, lots of people and a feeling of community that a lot of times I find myself missing. I think that volunteers really try to create a sense of home for one another which I really appreciate. I think that maybe it's the feeling of being completely isolated in a lot of ways (despite technology) that makes us cling to one another for care and compassion. Of course, there were typical holiday dramas that played into the day, but overall, the day gave me a sense of being a part of something that was a pretty decent substitution for the love of my family.

I accidentally bought beef tongue at the store the other day instead of stew meat. I really need to start reading labels instead of just blindly picking things up. It's not that I can't read or that I don't understand words, it's just a lot of work to pick up a package and read it and figure out what it says. It adds a lot of time to shopping. I used to put in a lot of effort, mostly because packaging here never felt real. Like I would find something I would expect to be one thing because of how it was packaged and it turned out it was something completely different. So, when I first arrived I studied and studied what the package actually said. Nowadays, I just sort of stick to what I know, trust my eyes or in this case eat the fact that I bought beef tongue instead of stew meat and start brainstorming or internet searching for recipes that include beef tongue and let me know how to cook it. I'm not grossed out by eating beef tongue and I'm sure there are some volunteers that would just pitch it and call it a loss in the living allowance column, but I just feel bad tossing perfectly good meat even if it is something I wouldn't normally pick out. The package recommends I use it for stroganoff. I hate stroganoff. My brother suggested Vietnamese dishes (good luck finding veggies or materails to make that in winter in ukraine, does the recipe happen to have beets?) So, I'm thinking I'm going to make a soup which means another trip to the store to get beef bouillon but who knows what kind of soup this is going to be. I'm thinking some sort of beef and tomato combination.

So, what's going on in the work department. I know that the world of TEFL is thrilling in everyway for all of you. I'm teaching, as per usual, my normal classes in the school though the schedule has changed. . . again. . . and probably will, again; as soon as the new semester starts, that is. Other than teaching at school I'm also teaching a private student named Pasia, who I wrote about in my last entry. She's really great and I'm thankful to have met her and gotten to know her. AND I'm now teaching the Lvivska Regional Police, I know, you're jealous. The president has issued an order that Police in the cities where the Euro Cup 2012 will be held to learn English to help along with tourists etc. who come to Ukraine to watch the games. That means I get to teach the exciting material of, "Can I see your documents please?" I'm secretly hoping to teach things like, "Hey, hooligans, quiet down before I beat you with my billy club." Probably, not encouraging the best of behaviour, but at least it would be more interesting to draw the visuals. l'll keep you all updated on what it's like to work with the Police as much as possible. My guess is that my nervousness before teaching them that I'm currently experiencing is probably unwarranted, but for some reason, I tend to fear the police here. Probably becuase no one wants to go to jail, especially not in a country that isn't their own where their language consists mostly of threats for students, like, "If you don't start behaving I will call your mother." I'm guessing it's not the best option as to how to begin a conversation with an angry Militia man but it's yet to be tested.

The countdown has begun until the end of the first semester, marking my second full semester here in Ukraine and the beginning of my last full semester here! I'm not exactly sure why I'm so excited about that fact other than things move TOO fast here. I enjoy all the small moments of socializing and teaching and all that goes with being a volunteer, but when I think about my time, it still seems like I've only just arrived. Nevermind the fact that due to constant staffing changes at my school I'm the second most tenured English teacher in the department. And now, as of this month, we're the oldest TEFL group around. The group that arrived before us already received the email about their close of service retreat and the paperwork will probably soon follow. Mine will be at the end of the summer from what I've heard. Well, on the reflection of how stunningly close and painstakingly far the end is I suppose I'll call this one at an end. Happy Advent season to all.

loveandhugstoall