The taillights burn red, they're hotter than hell, I've been long gone or couldn't you tell

So here we are. My last day of teaching. I'm looking around my pepto-bismol pink room that has been my home for two years thinking I've never seen so few things in here. My life has been condensed down to a red suitcase of middling size, a rust colored bookbag and a few plastic bags holding things which will soon leave my possession. What does it feel like to complete my service? I feel good, lost, confused, and a whole lot of other emotions that I can't really pin down. I'm leaving a life I've become accustomed to despite its challenges, errors and flat out backwardness. I don't know what I'll do not knowing how to get around in my space; how to define what it is I'm doing. But I know that there are those here who love me and want to see me. Some quotes from my kids this week;

"It would be easier to say goodbye to you if I were in 11th form and leaving school with you."
"If we're well-behaved in class today will you come back to us?"
"I'm going to miss you Miss Kari."
Reply after me asking a first grader if everythign was ok after he came up to me and just pressed his head against me, "NO! it's not ok, you're leaving. Who's going to teach us English?"

I'm going to miss my kids and have found myself crying a few days this week; there's a love there I can't explain. I'm going to miss walking the hallways and hearing hellos and getting hugs and seeing people genuinely excited to see me everyday. I'm going to miss calling my friends and laughing about Ukraine. I'm going to miss taking the tram to see people in center and meet for drinks and talk about our weeks. I'm going to miss giong to the bazaar with Druzhka and buying fresh vegetables and talking to babusiyas.

I'm sad to leave, I really am, and yet I know it's the best decision I could have made. Extending would've made me miserable. And I'm leaving with some really wonderful memories about what is happening here. I'm not sure what will happen to Ukraine in the future, but I know that my students will do wonderful things. I hope they will be the salvation for this country, but who can predict a thing like that..

So, the bags are packed, the celebrations had and planned and here I am in the interim waiting to see what my life will look like in my home country. A place I haven't really "lived" in 4 years. I'm looking forward to our reunion America, I hope I can find your secrets too. I hope I can start a new life there.

until we're reunited hugsandlove